Man I Used To Be
You say things to me like, “You’re mean now.” “You don’t listen to me anymore.” and “You’re not the same.”
You fail to realize that the things I have seen and done were not a video game.
You ask, “What’s wrong?” “Where’s your head?” and “Why don’t you talk to me?”
Did you stop to think that maybe I don’t want you to know what I have done or what eats the inside of me?
Please understand if I don’t tell you the things that draw my attention away.
It’s because the unwelcome thoughts are rising and I am pushing them back to where they need to stay.
If you are already frustrated and disappointed in me, how can I tell you these things and expect you to still love me.
I’m sorry things are hard for me to tell you so you can see.
I am sorry I’m not the loving man I used to be.
10 Comments »
Leave a reply to ellielawson Cancel reply
Recent Comments
-
Archives
- December 2016 (1)
- June 2016 (1)
- December 2013 (1)
- June 2013 (1)
- May 2013 (6)
- March 2013 (2)
- August 2011 (11)
- July 2011 (3)
- June 2011 (2)
- May 2011 (10)
-
Categories
-
RSS
Entries RSS
Comments RSS
darrenhardman 
Excellent, D. Excellent. We all have things we don’t share … for various reasons. But often because we don’t/can’t share … well, it creates a chasm that is hard to cross. Keep writing, my friend. Your gift is amazing.
Carol, Thank you so much for your continued comments and support. I look forward to seeing them whenever I post something new.
I don’t know the “man you used to be”, but I sure know the man you are today. And, I love that man, my friend!
Pam, Thank you so much for your comment! It made me tear up and still does everytime I read it.
The hard part is the other side of things. If you don’t tell them, they can’t understand. If they can’t understand, they can’t connect with you. They can’t help you. I know you want to shut it away and not deal with it. I know you don’t want to be judged, but it’s helpful to the people who love you to know. If they truly love you, they will understand. They will support you. They will love you no matter what. If they can’t see past that, then maybe they aren’t the people you need in your life right now. Trust me, I know from experience, though a different trigger, but it’s still the same, I know what it’s like to keep those secrets, but it only pushes people away. It takes time for that comfort to grow, to be ready to talk, but talking will help the people who love you so they can help you, be there for you, love you all that much more.
Thank you for reading. It means a lot to me when people post their views. It lets me know how they see what I write.
I never have been into poetry, but this is just brilliant and sad at the same time.
Thanks for this amazing poem!
Daniel
Thank you for reading. I have more to add in the near future.
thank you for sharing this… there is nothing like writing to lighten the load
Thank you for reading and I agree with you. Writing helps lessen the load on my mind.