darrenhardman

My writing

The Day Is Mine

After a sleepless night filled with pain.
I wake up and sit on the edge of my bed.
For 30 minutes I try to suppress memories, demons and guilt all in vain.
I just make myself numb and fool my mind into believing they are dead.
I then stand up and look in the mirror.
With every breath another night gets nearer.
But for now I take a deep breath and gather all my strength to face another day.
No matter how bad my day is I am thankful to be here to meet my friends and watch my children play.
You invade me at night and that is fine,
But by God the day is MINE!

May 28, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Man I Used To Be

You say things to me like, “You’re mean now.” “You don’t listen to me anymore.” and “You’re not the same.”

You fail to realize that the things I have seen and done were not a video game.

You ask, “What’s wrong?” “Where’s your head?” and “Why don’t you talk to me?”

Did you stop to think that maybe I don’t want you to know what I have done or what eats the inside of me?

Please understand if I don’t tell you the things that draw my attention away.

It’s because the unwelcome thoughts are rising and I am pushing them back to where they need to stay.

If you are already frustrated and disappointed in me, how can I tell you these things and expect you to still love me.

I’m sorry things are hard for me to tell you so you can see.

I am sorry I’m not the loving man I used to be.

May 14, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

    Next Entries »