darrenhardman

My writing

Man I Used To Be

You say things to me like, “You’re mean now.” “You don’t listen to me anymore.” and “You’re not the same.”

You fail to realize that the things I have seen and done were not a video game.

You ask, “What’s wrong?” “Where’s your head?” and “Why don’t you talk to me?”

Did you stop to think that maybe I don’t want you to know what I have done or what eats the inside of me?

Please understand if I don’t tell you the things that draw my attention away.

It’s because the unwelcome thoughts are rising and I am pushing them back to where they need to stay.

If you are already frustrated and disappointed in me, how can I tell you these things and expect you to still love me.

I’m sorry things are hard for me to tell you so you can see.

I am sorry I’m not the loving man I used to be.

May 14, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Valhalla Tonight

Here I sit, rifle in hand

Killing the natives of a far off land.

The reason I am here?

A madman who spreads fear.

Bodies piled high as far as the eye can see,

Those caught as they tried to flee.

Enemy in sight

I pray my aim is true tonight.

The camp begins to stir

Time flies by as if ablur.

A hard thud to my chest,

I look down and see the hole in my vest.

My buddy looks at me with a tear,

I look at him and say “Do not fear”

Fight with all your might

For I will be waiting for you in VALHALLA tonight!

written by Darren 2-22-09

May 8, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

That Kind of Man

I believe in GOD and manners.
I have fought for mine and others banners.
I can’t stand cheatin’ and stealin’.
I hate lying and crooked dealin’.
I say yes sir and yes ma’am.
My parents and my children have made me the man I am.
When I’m away and start to feel blue.
I look at her picture and feel a love that is true.
I’m a warrior and a fighter this I know.
And for a love like this there’s nothing i won’t do or a place I won’t go.
I am tough and I am strong,
but I am not perfect and can admit when I am wrong.
I will make a stand for what I believe and hold dear.
But when I am hurt i will cry a tear.
I hate when people turn their family to shame.
I can’t stand when people mess up and find someone else to blame.
I love with intensity and do what I can.
I love and believe these things because I am that kind of man.

May 7, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Where are you?

I sit here on the mountain top trying to see the beautiful scenery below.I spend hours trying to figure out why everything is blurry and unclear.

Then a sudden pain in my chest doubles me over and drives me to my knees.

I clutch my chest and realize my heart is reminding me it is filled to capacity with love and has nowhere to send it.

I try to see through the fog into the valley’s, along the rivers and deep into the cities looking frantically for you.

After searching in vain I realize this is beyond my control.

I fear that until you find me and ease this pressure in my eyes they will never see clearly.

With a tear I bow my head into my hands and ask the wind to carry this question in hopes of reaching you. “Where are you?”

May 6, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , | 1 Comment

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