darrenhardman

My writing

Man I Used To Be

You say things to me like, “You’re mean now.” “You don’t listen to me anymore.” and “You’re not the same.”

You fail to realize that the things I have seen and done were not a video game.

You ask, “What’s wrong?” “Where’s your head?” and “Why don’t you talk to me?”

Did you stop to think that maybe I don’t want you to know what I have done or what eats the inside of me?

Please understand if I don’t tell you the things that draw my attention away.

It’s because the unwelcome thoughts are rising and I am pushing them back to where they need to stay.

If you are already frustrated and disappointed in me, how can I tell you these things and expect you to still love me.

I’m sorry things are hard for me to tell you so you can see.

I am sorry I’m not the loving man I used to be.

May 14, 2011 Posted by | Feelings from war and beyond | , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments